I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
