Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
