Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
