Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't deserve a penis
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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