Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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