so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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