Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
