I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
operation have a gay friend backfired
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
