He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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