hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
