Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this beer tastes like vomit already
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
