just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
