The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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