We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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