I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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