Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
