I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
