it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
