I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
