So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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