My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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