So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
