Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
