She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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