I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
