I love black thongs
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
