Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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