I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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