No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
