Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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