.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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