You just made me feel so damn special
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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