it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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