how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Can you bring me the toilet please
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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