I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
