Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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