Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
