I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
