get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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