I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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