You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
