Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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