office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
