Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
