You're my little dorito
Don't make out with my wife yet
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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