This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
