i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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