Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
