Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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