My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
